If I Lived on the Beach

Warm sand hugs my feet
The sun toasts my skin to a light crisp
Humidity embraces my entirety
The cool ocean mist lands on my eyelashes

Lazily, the hammock rocks
Back and forth, the waves crash
Splash! The pool washes away the salt
Holding my breath for as long as I can
Coming up when my lungs scream for air

At night, we watch the stars
Long walks on the beach

Our time at the beach is short.
We make the most of it.
Until return to our dull lives.
For the peace and tranquility
We never cease to seek.

Sutphner

Marcus Alburez

Poetry

Mr. Wensman

9/17/2013

Response to Joyce Suthpen’s poetry

Many of Ms. Suthpen’s poems focus on the big themes of life. Suthpen’s poetry emphasis is on how to act, speak and respond to certain turning point situations in our lives. Her poem “How to Listen” is one that truly resonates with this theme of overall spirituality. When she writes:

This is your chance to listen carefully.

Your whole life might depend on what you hear.

I can’t help but think about the course that we as humans are taking. In an age where we are easily distracted by technology, Suthpen’s poetry certainly brings the reader back to what is important in life. Suthpen takes this step even further with her poem “Condition” where she seems to explore the way we think about creationism and what role it plays in our lives. The lines

Nothing so unlikely could be to my liking

Better than fates decree or that some

Hidden plan intervene.

Could be taken out of context yet would still make perfect sense. She uses these “big picture” themes in order to draw the reader’s attention. Using big ideas like the ones Sutphner allows poets to not only express how they feel about these ideas but due to the controversial nature of these ideas, they spark a moral debate between the reader and the writer. I hope to explore more of this writing because I believe that I have a unique perspective on the world and will create some interesting poetry which will allow me to challenge some ideals.  

Blood, sweat, gasoline.

Everyone around us yells.

Chains tied around him clink.

His cries for help ignored.

Dose him with more.

Stop. Move. No, stop.

It’s only fair.

But is it?

A few uniformed figures

Are no match for the masses.

Testosterone and anger

Are thick in the air.

A malicious stench.

They all love it.

He clings onto life.

Alive or dead?

It makes no difference to him.

“Fuck him – let’s finish it”

The words “Yes, please”

Manage to slither out his mouth

Right alongside his final breaths. 

What I learned: Punctuation matters and the way you present language is essential. Our language really reflects who we are and what type of writing we've been exposed to. I hope to learn more about my writing and improve it through revision.